Writer Pascal Mercier once said, “We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there.”
I remember stumbling upon this quote in a cafe and quickly scribbling it on a postcard during one of my remaining days in Florence, Italy. I had just spent four months of my life in a place I thought of as home. I knew leaving was going to be hard, but It wasn't until a few weeks back in the States that I realized the truth to Mercier’s words. The truth is that when you travel you leave pieces of yourself behind and when I returned home I realized I left something pretty important back in Europe. It was not any of my cosmetics or one of my treasured souvenirs, but my heart. This may say sound cliché or even an exaggeration. It is hard to explain to someone who has never experienced this and even harder to try to explain the complexity behind it. Believe me I have been trying to figure it out myself and wrap my head around the idea. All I knew was when I came home, while excited to be reunited with my loved ones, there was definitely a void, a hollowness that I have still to this day. I had mixed feelings because I was ecstatic to be back on American soil, but at the same time wanted to board the next plane to Italy. So I began to ask myself, why did this void exist? After many internal battles, I feel as if I finally have discovered the reason why. It is not entirely, because I miss the place although I still crave gelato and the sound of my feet on the Tuscan cobblestone streets, it is that you miss the person you are while there and you will never truly be that person again. Across my many adventures in Europe, I learned so many lessons and truths about myself. I lived a different life where I took day trips to different countries had charade like conversations due to language barriers and easily walked ten miles a day. While I will not have to walk 40 minutes to my apartment anymore, I will not have the opportunity to take in the beauty of buildings from the 1400s or chat with the quaint bookstore owner. All these opportunities challenged me and molded me into who I am today. Essentially, my passport gave me the tool to find myself. Italy captured my heart at the ripe young age of 18, along with France, Belgium, and the countless other countries and cities. At each place my passions, fears and even my unknown dreams arose. In my wanderings across Europe, I thought I would discover ancient ruins, and world wonders. However, I realized the biggest discovery was myself. Almost a year and a half later, I still feel that my heart is in Tuscany. Every day, I still have habits and longings I cannot find here and I am still in the process of adjusting. However, slowly but surely I’m realizing that the girl in Italy is not a separate version of me but a part of me waiting to be rediscovered.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorsHaute Life Magazine co-creators Lori and Yvette here! Our blog has anything and everything about fashion, recipes, decorating, business tips, and more to inspire you! Take a look at our blog and let us know what you think! Archives
June 2018
Categories |