Honestly, I can’t think of one person, one best friend, who has helped me get through the last few years of life. The truth is, I have had an army fighting with me, and a village taking care of me and my family. Without the support of all of these people, I may not have had the strength to heal from heart surgery, to get rid of the cancer, or to be sitting here writing today.
My husband, Chad, has been my rock. Our parents have done more for us than words can even begin to thank them for, and my sweet therapist, Ruth, taught me so much about God, His love, and His plan for me. I cherish every single one of my friendships and know I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. However, after spending some time reflecting on the past year or so, I’ve come up with three friends that have been crucial to my recovery. These friends have served different purposes on my journey, but they have all been helpful in getting me through the tough stuff and for that, I am extremely thankful. I’ll start with my lifelong best friend. We’ve known each other too many years to count. She has been there through thick and thin. She’s seen me on my worst days and been with me to celebrate the best days! It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other, we can pick up right where we left off like no time has passed. I know I could call her day or night and she would drop everything to help me. She has loved me through this medical journey and been a huge part of my support network! The next best friend came to me by the grace of God. I often refer to our meeting as “serendipitous”--a fortunate happenstance! From day one of our friendship, we just ‘got’ each other. We dream big together, encourage and support each other, and lift one another up in nearly every aspect of life. She completely understands my feelings, usually shares my emotions, and quite possibly is the only person who can talk me through an upsetting or stressful situation. Though we’ve only known each other for a short time, I’m incredibly grateful for this friendship of a lifetime! And last, but definitely not least, is my cancer best friend. We actually started off as colleagues several years ago and remained acquaintances through social media. That is, until we were diagnosed with breast cancer. That commonality, which neither of us would wish upon anyone, brought us together. This friend probably knows more about my outward body and all it has been through than even my husband...because she has been through it too. She understands the nausea, the fatigue, the pain, the fear, the hot flashes, the guilt, and the emotion that comes with all of it. She inspires me daily with her strength, with her zest for life, and with her commitment to her family and job through it all. I definitely couldn’t have made it through the last year without her and I am so very thankful for our friendship. Praising God daily for blessing us with many friends who feel like family.
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LEARNING TO TRY NEW THINGS
Imagine what you could accomplish if you took a half hour out of your day to simply relax. We live busy lives; no one can deny that. You’re always rushing around from one place to another. Maybe you’re a working professional who is figuring how to run your own business. Perhaps you’re a mother and your kids are involved in multiple activities. You’re always on the go and your feet are never on the ground. It gets to a point where you can’t even think logically anymore. You have so many thoughts swirling inside your mind that you begin to lose control. That’s when you need to make time for you. Set aside a half hour to relax, unwind, and perhaps start a new hobby that forces you to take that moment to breathe. That’s what I have discovered in the past year. I started a new hobby—bookbinding. One of my good friends, Marisa, taught me various bookbinding techniques so I could make my own journals. As a writer, I’m always going through journals—to the point where it would be cheaper for me to make my own writing journals. I learned two techniques, but the Japanese stitch binding method is the technique I favor the most. I never would have imagined I could learn a hobby like this. Growing up, I never considered myself “crafty.” My elementary school art projects could prove this point. But, in recent years, I’ve stopped caring about how others view my projects. Instead, I focus on how I feel as I’m stitching together my journals. I don’t sell my projects—because quite frankly, I’m not an expert at bookbinding. There are times when I ask myself, “Wait, how do I do this again?” But, then I figure it out and I enjoy the journey. I enjoy the creative process. It’s my time to relax, take a deep breath, and completely focus on one task—turning a stack of blank white pages into a decorative journal using nothing but a needle and thread. I feel better after each session. I can make three journals in a half hour. I feel accomplished when I’m finished, but I’m also rejuvenated. My mind is free and I’m active. All it took was thirty minutes to relax! I found a hobby I love, and I hope you someday find a hobby you love, dear readers. If you’re still searching for a hobby or activity to use as a stress-reliever, it’s okay. You’re not alone. You’ll find it one day. Just remember, you’re doing the best you can. -Kasy Long Editor & Contributor at Haute Life Freelance Writer Blogger at KJL’s Diary Writer Pascal Mercier once said, “We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there.”
I remember stumbling upon this quote in a cafe and quickly scribbling it on a postcard during one of my remaining days in Florence, Italy. I had just spent four months of my life in a place I thought of as home. I knew leaving was going to be hard, but It wasn't until a few weeks back in the States that I realized the truth to Mercier’s words. The truth is that when you travel you leave pieces of yourself behind and when I returned home I realized I left something pretty important back in Europe. It was not any of my cosmetics or one of my treasured souvenirs, but my heart. This may say sound cliché or even an exaggeration. It is hard to explain to someone who has never experienced this and even harder to try to explain the complexity behind it. Believe me I have been trying to figure it out myself and wrap my head around the idea. All I knew was when I came home, while excited to be reunited with my loved ones, there was definitely a void, a hollowness that I have still to this day. I had mixed feelings because I was ecstatic to be back on American soil, but at the same time wanted to board the next plane to Italy. So I began to ask myself, why did this void exist? After many internal battles, I feel as if I finally have discovered the reason why. It is not entirely, because I miss the place although I still crave gelato and the sound of my feet on the Tuscan cobblestone streets, it is that you miss the person you are while there and you will never truly be that person again. Across my many adventures in Europe, I learned so many lessons and truths about myself. I lived a different life where I took day trips to different countries had charade like conversations due to language barriers and easily walked ten miles a day. While I will not have to walk 40 minutes to my apartment anymore, I will not have the opportunity to take in the beauty of buildings from the 1400s or chat with the quaint bookstore owner. All these opportunities challenged me and molded me into who I am today. Essentially, my passport gave me the tool to find myself. Italy captured my heart at the ripe young age of 18, along with France, Belgium, and the countless other countries and cities. At each place my passions, fears and even my unknown dreams arose. In my wanderings across Europe, I thought I would discover ancient ruins, and world wonders. However, I realized the biggest discovery was myself. Almost a year and a half later, I still feel that my heart is in Tuscany. Every day, I still have habits and longings I cannot find here and I am still in the process of adjusting. However, slowly but surely I’m realizing that the girl in Italy is not a separate version of me but a part of me waiting to be rediscovered. |
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June 2018
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